Presenting… BOCHOG’S ALL CARB DIET

Inspired by those LOSE/GAIN WEIGHT? sticker ads usually found on restroom doors and outdoor posts, Bochog’s All Carb Diet is designed to achieve the 2nd option that these sticker ads present: GAIN WEIGHT. Emboldened by the recognition that weight can be a matter of choice—that one can choose and wish to gain weight as much as another can choose to lose—the creator of this diet decided to crystallize the gastronomic principles she has lived by for 3 decades into an easy-to-follow diet that doesn’t skimp on taste. Bochog’s All Carb Diet is the first diet of its kind, a diet that can target weight gain as a goal but one that does not demand it. Bochog believes that there doesn’t have to be guilt or remorse should one follow the diet and still maintain one’s weight. After all, Bochog lives by the saying (which she made up herself)…

“There are no judgments here.”

Unlike other diets that advocate the reduction, even elimination, of carbohydrate intake, this diet advocates maximum intake of carbohydrates. The All Carb Diet, however, does not discriminate against other food groups, for instance, proteins such as meat, meat, and all meat. Instead, it advocates a balanced diet which consists of carbohydrates, some protein to make the carbs extra special to the palate and to ensure the continued employment of butchers and others who work in the meat procurement and processing sector, a few servings of veggies for those who have to contend with guilt (although, again, there are no judgments here), and the requisite chocolate caramel bar drink. Fruits may be substituted for some of the processed sweets. Beware, though. Studies have shown that those who eat more than one piece of fruit a day have a higher risk of having regular bowel movement and are, therefore, likelier to feel nature’s call at the most inopportune moments, like during a business meeting or right in the middle of an intimate moment with one’s partner or, like, whenever. (Sucks, right?).

The diet consists of a 3-day breakfast, lunch, merienda (afternoon snacks), and dinner menu. Meals are interchangeable. This allows the dieter latitude and freedom in creating his/her own diet plan while staying within the admittedly permeable boundaries set by the All Carb Diet. Dieters can create one-day menus using different combinations such as, for instance, Day 1 Breakfast, Day 2 Lunch and Merienda, and Day 3 Dinner.

This diet is contraindicated for those who want to lose weight as well as those in whom the very word carbohydrate triggers severe allergic reactions that may lead to anaphylactic shock. This diet is also recommended for those whose tongues are planted firmly in cheek.


DAY 1

Breakfast

1 cup, or 3, white rice (steamed or fried in STAR margarine with ham, bacon, and chorizo bits, and green peas and carrots for 1/16 serving of veggies)
1 multi-grain bagel (plain or slathered with a butter and cream cheese pimiento)
1 glazed donut (or 2…amounts are entirely optional)
1 glass Bochog Shake (to make: combine 1 banana cut up into pieces, half an apple, juice of 1 orange, ½ cup milk, 1 tbsp honey, and 1 Snickers bar, in a blender. Blend until smooth. For added joy, again entirely optional, top with cut up pieces of Twix bar, peanut butter flavor)

Lunch

1 small (or big) plate of pasta with simple marinara sauce (or aligue sauce)
1 slice (or loaf) of whole wheat bread (plain or slathered with garlic herb butter. For a Southeast Asian take, substitute butter with ghee… and coconut milk)
1 simple salad, made of store bought mixed greens and your favorite dressing, on a bed of croutons, topped with grated cheese and bacon bits
1 glass diet root beer (with 2 scoops vanilla ice cream… there will be no judgments should you deem it necessary to add a 3rd scoop.)

Merienda

3 layers of sapin-sapin
1 platter palabok
3-4 pieces puto (with 1 bowl dinuguan)
1 tall glass sago gulaman (with extra arnibal)

Dinner

1 bowl asado mami
1 piece bola-bola siopao (with extra pao… or extra asado siopao)
1 cup white rice (can be substituted with 1 plate paella)
for dessert: 1 llanera leche flan (topped with slivers of sweet macapuno and a generous serving of caramel)


DAY 2

Breakfast

1 sausage platter (A sausage platter is just a large plate filled with at least 3 different kinds of sausages: ex. Chorizo de Bilbao, Hungarian, Italian, Bratwurst, Vigan Longganisa, Lucban Longganisa)
3-4 large pan de sal (with kesong puti)
1 cup brewed coffee (with lots of cream and sugar. Lots.)

Lunch

1 10-inch all meat pizza
1 big bowl Caesar salad
1 plate Carbonara (2nd plate optional)
1 liter diet soda (1.5 liter if 1 liter bottle is not available)

Dinner

½ to 1 slab bbq pork or beef ribs (according to preference)
1 pot chili
2-3 servings creamy mashed potatoes (to make: boil 10 potatoes, add 2 cups heavy cream, 2 sticks butter, salt and pepper to taste. Ham, bacon, or sausage bits are optional.)
for dessert: bread pudding (with caramel sauce)


DAY 3

Breakfast

3 large pancakes (topped with a blueberry or raspberry compote, whipped cream, and lots of maple syrup)
3-4 slices French toast (soaked in more maple syrup)
1-2 servings hash browns
3-10 pieces bacon
1 fruit platter (any fruit, fresh or candied, will do)
1-4 cups hot chocolate e

Lunch

1-2 plates Pinoy style spaghetti (for a recipe, ask your mom)
2-3 pieces fried chicken
1-2 slices toast (plain or buttered and topped with grated cheese)
1.5 liter bottle diet soda (regular soda if diet soda not available)

Merienda

10 pieces fish balls
10 pieces squid balls
10 pieces chicken balls
3-5 sticks isaw baboy
3-5 sticks isaw manok
3-5 sticks betamaks
2 liter bottle Sprite or 7 Up

Dinner

1 platter white sauce pasta (alfredo or carbonara)
2-3 servings beef stroganoff (with rice, or pasta again)
1 rack of lamb
1-2 servings assorted roasted veggies (like potatoes, carrots, eggplant, peppers)
for dessert: cake sampler (sample slices of the ff. cakes: tiramisu, caramel cake, sans rival, moist chocolate cake, cheesecake, chocolate mousse, carrot cake, etc.)