Sunday, August 09, 2009

What really went on during that 1 million peso dinner...

Today's newspaper carried the headline "GMA Dined for P1M in NY". This news story, of course, shocked and angered so many people who perhaps still expect an iota of self restraint, respect for others' grief, and observance of propriety from a woman who has shown time and again that she is perhaps genetically incapable of any of these so-called "human" emotions. So what if President Aquino had just died and left not only her family but the whole nation saddened and grieving? So what if 40 percent of Filipinos have at one point in their lives experienced hunger? These are but trifling matters. Besides, it's not as if it was just a casual dinner where nothing of great import was discussed. No, I have it on good authority that GMA and cohorts were celebrating the inauguration of a new political party of which GMA is, naturally, the chimerical head. Below is a transcript of her inaugural address:

Good evening, men, women, harlots all.

Tonight, as I was being driven here in my sleek black stretch limousine, the sight of rows and rows of matchstick houses, squatter slums, assaulted my eyes. Dirty, hungry looking street urchins loitering, littering the street like trash, only aggravated the situation. For a while I thought I would be seized by a pure wave of pity and compassion for our kababayan and their karukhaan. For a while I was terrified that my conscience would rise up from the murky depths of my unconscious to bug the hell out of me... Then I remembered, I had it securely tethered to a 10-billion tonne weight which was sure to keep it down in the abyss of my mind, the black depths of which approximates that of the Mindanao Trench... Whew! That was close, I thought to myself. For a while there... I shuddered then heaved a huge sigh of relief as I settled back against my plush leather seat to contemplate the historic nature of this night.

Tonight is, indeed, a historic night. Tonight we celebrate the beginning of what I have no doubt will be the most profitable political party in Philippine political history. I welcome you, harlots, as members of KKK, which for our purposes, stands for Kakapalan ng mukha, Kawalan ng hiya, Katiwasayan ng bulsa. Specifically, ating bulsa.

Our mission is simple: to do whatever is necessary--without regard for honor, trust, integrity, respect, and all things valiant...and abstract--to remain in power and add to our, let's face it, already unimaginable wealth. Modesty is not a value. Moderation is taboo.

Ang ating misyon: ipakita sa taongbayan na wala silang maaasahan sa atin, kahit singkong duling, ika nga ng mga matatanda.

Wala nang pagpapanggap.

Wala nang magpapanggap na may batas na sinusunod. Pretty soon, we shall effect such a transformation as to render our old laws moot and create new ones that more accurately reflect the lawlessness of our actions. We shall render rules and regulations--even those that govern the conferring of honorific awards--optional. Sufficient but not necessary. So what if the likes of Lumbera, Bencab, Luz, and Almario raise a ruckus about it? Let those old fogeys have a coronary. Or three.

Wala nang pagpapanggap na may pagtingin tayo sa mahihirap. In this regard, this dinner should serve to put across this particular point. A necessary conclusion from two premises:

Premise 1: Forty percent of the Philippine population has suffered hunger at least once during the past year.
Premise 2: The current but pseudo Philippine president and her cohorts spent a million pesos on dinner in New York.
Conclusion: The pseudo president and her cohorts simply do not care. Are simply not bothered by the gaping incongruity that exists between the truth of Premise 1 and that of Premise 2.

Wala nang pagpapanggap na marunong tayong makiramay. Again, this dinner should serve to drive home this point. Another necessary conclusion from two premises:

Premise 3: The Philippines has just lost a much admired, even beloved, leader, one who lived and breathed simplicity, non-frivolity, and integrity.
Premise 4: The current but pseudo Philippine president and her cohorts spent a million pesos wining, dining, and generally making merry in New York while every Filipino (and even many non-Filipinos) elsewhere were grieving.
Conclusion: The pseudo president and her cohorts simply do not care. Are simply not bothered by the gaping incongruity that exists between the truth of Premise 3 and that of Premise 4.

(Thunderous applause almost shakes the foundations of Le Cirque)

(Chortles) I do try... (To waiter) I'll have that tenth bottle of Chardonnay, please...

I hope it is clear to everyone that I will not countenance any sort of good behavior, "good" defined as noble, heroic, selfless... I shudder to even say this word. I suggest you all exercise the same vigilance in staying away from all that is good and true and keeping close to our vision of an unjust, inhumane, society as a necessary consequence of the selfishness of our ambition.

I thank... no one... not even their God.

(Cheers and thunderous applause once more)