BOCHOGNOMICS 2: Two Pestos and A Pao

Happy New Year to the zero people who are still following this blog and to the voice inside my head that forced me to cook meatless pasta (gasp!). I know that the past year has been almost devoid of posting on my part and I can't honestly promise myself that I will write more about my food trips this new year. And I certainly will never promise that I will from here on out take photographs of my food before I eat it. The best I can do is try. Cliche, really, but that's all I have.

To start off my new year, I offer 3 new recipes from the Media Noche meal I prepared last night. This meal was fueled by the guilt of having eaten too much during Christmas week, the necessity of preparing relatively healthier eats for my SC folks (that's senior citizen--hurrah for the 32% aggregated discount!), and my personal conviction that no meal is complete without some kind of meat. As with the first installment of Bochognomics (exactly one year ago), prices quoted are Unimart prices, except where indicated. There are no pictures--I was halfway through my second bacon pao when I remembered that I should have taken photos. I finished my bacon pao instead.

MEATLESS PASTA: Spaghettini with Red Pesto Sauce

Ingredients:
500g spaghettini (Php 54.50, Balducci brand)
1 small bottle sun-dried tomatoes in oil (Php 195, Molinera brand)
extra virgin olive oil (stock, but I use either Capri or Doña Elena, around Php 200 per 500ml bottle)
1/3 cup sliced black olives (Php 48.50 for 1 small bottle, Doña Elena brand)
1/2 cup fresh basil, washed and dried (Php 30 to 40)
1/2 cup fresh curly leaf parsley, washed and dried (Php 30 to 40)
salt and pepper to taste
2 cloves garlic
grated Parmesan (Php 77.50 for a 250g bottle, Magic Time brand)
1/4 wedge, Smoked Dutch cheese, cut into cubes (Php 161.75 for 1 wedge)
3-4 tbsp soft Goat cheese (stock, Camembert can be substitued, Php 300++ for a small disc)

Procedure:

For the red pesto:
1. Slice sun-dried tomatoes into semi-thick strips (to facilitate pulsing in the food processor). Reserve the oil.
2. In food processor, put sun-dried tomatoes and the oil. Add garlic, basil, parsley, olives, and 3 cheeses (all amounts according to your taste, really).
3. Pulse until everything is ground and blended. Check consistency. If too thick, thin out with EVOO (around 1/2 cup).
4. Add salt and pepper, and more cheeses, to taste.

For meatless pasta:
1. Cook 500g spaghettini in salted boiling water, then drain. Reserve 1 cup pasta water.
2. Pour the red pesto sauce into pan or pot. Saute for 3-5 minutes, then add the pasta back in.
3. Make sure the sauce coats every strand of pasta. If it is too thick due to the cheeses, add the pasta water.
4. Add salt and pepper to taste.
5. Top with more parmesan cheese, and serve with green pesto raisin bread (recipe below).


GREEN PESTO RAISIN BREAD

Ingredients:
Raisin bread loaf (Php 65 thereabouts, Gardenia brand)
Prepared pesto

For Pesto:
3 cups fresh basil
2 cups fresh parsley
1/3 cup capers (Php 55 for 1 small bottle, Capri brand)
2-3 cloves garlic
1 cup EVOO
parmesan cheese
goat's cheese
Smoked Dutch cheese, cubed
juice from 1/2 lemon (Php 15/pc)
salt and pepper, to taste

Procedure:

For the pesto:
1. Place all ingredients, except EVOO, s&p, and lemon juice, in food processor.
2. Remove seeds from lemon and squeeze juice into food processor. Add salt and pepper.
3. Pulse while pouring EVOO into the lid's spout.
4. Check for taste and consistency. Add s&p, oil, or more cheeses, to taste, then pulse one final time to achieve smooth consistency.

For the bread:
1. Slice raisin bread (or any bread) pieces into halves, so if you have 5 pieces, you'll end up with 10 small ones.
2. Take a small piece of bread and slather with pesto, including a little bit of oil.
3. Toast in the oven at 200 degrees C for around 3-5 minutes (assuming oven has been preheated for 5 minutes).


BACON PAO

Ingredients:
8-10 pcs Man Tao or Chinese buns (Php 60)
250g bacon, cut into bits (Php 80, Holiday brand--though I would recommend pricier brands for a smokier flavor)
Optional: smoked dutch cheese, thin slices

Procedure:
1. Cut bacon into bits and fry in its own fat. Add a small amount of canola oil to aid in frying.
2. While the bacon is frying, steam the man tao for around 3-5 minutes.
3. When the man tao is ready, slice horizontally to form 2-sided buns. Place hot bacon bits inside. Add cheese as preferred. (Might also work with a bit of mustard and/or mayo).

Off-topic: I found my essays!

Well, my sister did (thanks, Ate My!).

A few years back, I wrote some essays that were published in the website Indie Bloggers but eventually got lost in the ether (or so I thought). Turns out, Indie Bloggers renamed itself into Indie Ink. My sister found a link to one of my essays. Apparently, my essay submissions are still in the archives of that site--which is great for me as some of those essays I had lost my copies of. Needless to say, I am immensely pleased at this fortunate turn of events.

Anyway, many of these aren't about food, but I'm similarly glad to share them with anyone who'd like to read:

The Happiest Accident http://indieink.org/2007/04/10/the-happiest-accident/
Coffee, Tea, and Me http://indieink.org/2007/04/12/coffee-tea-and-me/#comments
My Dad and J. Lo http://indieink.org/2007/04/page/17/
This Is Why http://indieink.org/2007/04/26/this-is-why-wc10/#comments
Sunday Morning Mom http://indieink.org/2007/10/25/sunday-morning-mom/
Matin and Babochai http://indieink.org/2007/09/11/matin-and-babochai-wc/
i am free http://indieink.org/2007/12/14/i-am-free/
About A Boy http://indieink.org/2007/12/14/1303/
The Tao of Kage http://indieink.org/2007/07/28/the-tao-of-kage/

Gastronomically Grateful

I am ringing in 2011 with a decision. A decision, mind you, not a resolution. Resolutions are for plebeians. Of course the five of you who are still (but most probably are no longer) reading this blog may argue that I am, in fact, one of you, common folks. You may well be, technically, objectively, right. But not if you factor in narcissism as an increasingly universal value. So factoring in my narcissistic mindset, I would be perfectly right in assuming that I am not plebeian and am, in fact, ultra unique and stellar. Ergo, you would be wrong. Entirely, massively. Wrong.

But this musicless ditty is not about narcissism and its grandchild, ungratefulness (its child being, of course, entitlement). This, instead, is about the conceptual opposite, gratitude.

I decided that at least for this year, I will adopt a more grateful, thankful, mindset. Why? Because, frankly, sometimes when you don't decide--deliberately, forcefully--to be thankful, you forget. And I don't want to forget. My memory's bad enough as it is.

So I'm starting my year of being grateful with the easiest thing in the world to be thankful about. This here is my fit of gastronomic gratitude.

Cyma's Roka Salata. Best salad ever. My mom thinks so too. We order this every time we eat at Cyma, along with the Solomos pasta (with salmon, feta cheese, and angel hair pasta in a tomato cream sauce). I also love...

Cyma's generous portions. Even if the dishes seem pricey, if you are a party of at least 3, Cyma turns out to be affordable, but fine, dining. Lovely.

Abe's. My friend, Ange, treated me and our friends to this wonderful place that serves Kapampangan dishes. We had sauteed crickets, lamb adobo, kare-kare, and bamboo rice (white rice steamed inside a piece of bamboo). As Ange described the experience, everything was Just Right. Just enough salty, just enough sweet, and a lot savory.

Pulled Pork Sandwich at Charlie's Carwash and Grill. The new Charlie's branch in Greenhills opened last year. Ditchie and I ate there during their soft opening. She had the burger while I had the pulled pork sandwich with coleslaw. We also shared some buffalo wings. The pork sandwich was good, tender and moist, drenched in sweet and tangy barbecue sauce. Ditchie also liked her burger. We didn't care much for the wings, though. For the best wings we ate last year, my thanks go to...

Buffalo Wings and Things. Which, alas, has closed its doors in the Greenhills mall. I had some good times in this place, with Ditchie and with my friend, Lee. The Garlic Parmesan wings are killer, great paired with dirty rice and blue cheese dip. Wings and Things, you will be missed, sorely. I hope to see you in another location soon.

Indonesian food. Last year, I got to visit Yogyakarta, Indonesia (for a conference). Three things I loved about that trip: a) we stayed at the house of one of Indonesia's most prominent contemporary artists, it was like living in a cozy art gallery; b) I got to see Borobudur! and c) I got to eat Indonesian food like Gado-gado (a mixed greens and beans salad with peanut dressing and topped with hard boiled eggs). Indonesian food is kind of like our food, but a lot spicier. Yum. An Indonesian guy I talked to told me that when he visited Manila and tried the food, he missed the spiciness and found our food bland. So someone told him to go to Bicol and try the spicy, gata based, dishes there. So I had to recommend Bicol Express and Pinangat. He said he'll try it when he visits next. Don't know when that will be. I was just making small talk and didn't really want to find out those details.

Kopiko 3-in-1 coffee, with brown sugar. Hands down, the best instant coffee mix. Ever. I know there's already an ad airing on TV but why isn't it more popular? It's not too strong and bitter but the taste of coffee is distinct. The white sugar version is fine as well, but for me, the brown sugar variant works best just because I prefer brown sugar as it has a rounder, butterscotch, flavor.

Baby Ruth MINT flavor. I love the American goods store in Greenhills Shopping Center, where most of the items sell for only 79 to 99 pesos. The Baby Ruth Mints sell for 99 pesos per 8-piece pack.

Kraft Caramels. I am always grateful for these. And for the fact that Unimart puts these on sale every now and then.

Smiley's Chocolate Covered Mint Cookies. See last post.

Athiporn's Bagoong Rice Maki. I got my first taste of these goodies at a Christmas get together in the home of my professor, Ma'am Bo. Athiporn, a grad student in our department, has caters Thai food. These tiny morsels of bagoong infused sticky rice, with chicken, scrambled egg, and onion bits, wrapped in seaweed are their bestseller, and rightly so. You can easily polish off seven of these babies in one sitting. I should know. That's what I did. I wish I could say, no worries, I didn't eat anything else that night. Some wishes shall remain unfulfilled.

Lomi at a Batangas roadside eatery. My family and I had emergency lunch on the way home from the resort we stayed at for our Christmas vacation. It was nearing 2pm, we were hungry, and there was no decent restaurant in sight. So we decided to get some "laman tiyan" (literally, stomach filler) to temporarily soothe hunger pangs while we looked for a place we wanted to eat at. Ate My, Ditchie, and Mama ordered Goto while I, Daddy, Kuya Levi, and Daya ordered Lomi. The Lomi was a hot bowl filled with fat, yellow, egg noodles in a thick, creamy, light brown gravy, topped with pork innards and fried meat rolls. It was delicious. No surprise there. The big surprise that day was the Goto. My sisters and Mama were expecting a savory rice porridge, because in Manila, that's what Goto is: a rice dish. Apparently, in Batangas, Goto is a bowl of hot bile over pork innards and liver. In Manila, that's called Papaitan. Lesson learned: don't assume that Goto is the same dish anywhere in the Philippines. It's not.

That concludes my fit of gastronomic gratitude. Goodbye, 2010. My tummy shall surely miss you. 2011, meet my tummy. Tummy, 2011.

Been A Long Time...

... and I should have written about Smileys Chocolate Covered Mint Cookies and all my Unimart finds and experiences since my family moved to Greenhills area and I officially stopped being QC Girl :( and became San Juan woman with all the baggage that comes with it (read: living in Ejercito territory where constituents are greeted during New Year's by a banner over at City Hall proclaiming greetings from, and I quote, "President Joseph Ejercito Estrada, First Lady Gia Ejercito, and Mayor JV Ejercito". Emphasis on First Lady. Snort.). Somehow, though, life has a way of taking you away from what's important (like food) by distracting you with such trivialities as work, family obligations, and research required for what used to be a for-fun-Ph.D. but is now the Holy Grail of my life as a beleaguered doctoral candidate. But I don't like to complain.

So instead I will just wax, albeit belatedly, about the glorious, cheap, finds and steals that trusty, crusty, old Unimart has been offering its equally crusty, old, Chinoy and Kastilaloy (my sister's term for Castilian Pinoys) merchant community.

1) Arbitrary Sales of imported chips, candies, and choccies. We've been doing grocery shopping at Unimart for almost two years now and have, on numerous occasions, enjoyed imported chips, candies, and chocolate at reduced prices. There seems to be no reason for these sales, perhaps other than that the products are nearing their best-before date. Although, the sales happen so arbitrarily and ostensibly without schedule that I sometimes doubt it's about inventory clearance. Anyway, it matters not why, only that I get to enjoy Cheetos Puffs, Cheetos Crunchy Jalapeno, Butter Fingers Crisps, and Kraft Caramel Candies, etc. at 20% off. Not bad for a grocery store that doesn't seem to have a budget for cleaning its grimy exterior and replacing the signage. Good thing I'm not finicky.

2) Democratic pricing. The price range for many products sold at Unimart is unbelievably wide, from lowest of the low end options to high end stuff. This is great for shopping within a specified budget. It also allows you to buy, on a regular basis, those products that would normally be relegated to your "for special occasions" buys. My favorite "chourmet" (that's my word for cheap gourmet) buys are EVOO and red wine vinegar (Capri brand is the cheapest so far and, frankly, not so bad, good for everyday cooking and my twice-a-week hair conditioning; followed by Dona Elena and Bertolli's) and pasta (Balducci is a good, cheap, brand; also, San Remo for its vegeroni). Clara Ole has cheap, but tasty, spaghetti sauces. I've tried 3 variants so far and they all work particularly the Italian Style and Three Cheese sauces. Del Monte also has a new Tomato Cream sauce that I've used for making a ham and cheese quesadilla. (Although, it's easy to make your own tomato cream sauce. Just combine your favorite marinara/tomato/spaghetti sauce and all purpose cream, et voila! Tomato cream.).

3) Swift Black Label Corned Beef. This is our new, cheaper, alternative to Purefoods Corned Beef since our original alternative, Argentina Gold Label, disappeared from Unimart's shelves. The Swift Black Label tastes just like the Argentina Gold and is cheaper than Purefoods by around 3-5 pesos I think (which translates to a lot if you buy 6-8 cans at a time).

4) Smileys Chocolate Covered Mint Cookies. I made this happy discovery at Unimart. At only around 31 pesos for a box of 8 cookies, it's a really tasty, economical, find. The strawberry option is not at all tasty like the mint one, so to me, it's not worth the price. Only the mint cookies are worth the price. I introduced my good friend, Lin, to Smileys and she and her boys are now even bigger fans. Prior to these cookies appearing on the shelves of other grocery stores, I used to buy her 2 boxes at a time for her Smileys fix.

5) Frozen meats and the deli section. You can find Santi's and other brands of cold cuts and sausages at Unimart's frozen meats section. My favorites are the lyoners, hungarian and garlic sausages, and pepperoni. I pair gourmet sausages with cheap CDO or King Sue brand bacon for my meat pasta. It's always good to pair ordinary with gourmet quality because if you go too cheap with your ingredients, your final product might taste just that, cheap.

6) Kastilaloy before you at the counter. This is neither a find nor a steal. Rather, it's a quirk of the Unimart shopping experience, an immensely enjoyable quirk. My sister and I, one time, were behind this big-boned, Castilian grandma. We knew she was Castilian not because she had the aquiline nose and high brow, but because she was speaking in a mix of Spanish and Castilian-accented English and, hilariously, paying with a check with the amounts written in Spanish. So instead of writing on her check "18,000.00 pesos" or "Eighteen Thousand only" (she bought a lot of stuff; I think I saw 1 gallon bottles of some kind of liquor), she wrote "18.000,00" (because as we know, the Spanish write their numbers with the dot and comma interchanged) and "Dieciocho Mil".

Only in Unimart. This would never have happened in Shopwise.

It's A Crazy, Sploggy World Out There!

Test post after crazy splog scare. I think I accidentally flagged my own blog (doink!) when I tried to report abuse (spam in my comments section). And not the tasty kind of SPAM. Ugh. I'm hoping Blogger doesn't disable or lock or remove this blog, but I guess I'll have to wait.

Hope this post appears.

The Burning Question... Answered

I started this blog in August, 2006, almost four years ago, and in all that time, I've posted only around 5 pictures of the foods I cook, eat, and rave about. Well, maybe not 5; more like... 7 or 8. The point is, I seem to have posted too few food photos that I'm sure at least some of you may be wondering... What does she have against food photography?

Just to set the record straight--because there are days when I like to pretend that I'm a celebrity "setting the record straight", as it were, in an effort to contain the backlash of a controversy I am embroiled in. Today is one of those days...

Anyway, just to set the record straight, I don't have anything against food photography. (Twit your friends...)

I think it takes great skill to, for instance, take a cheesecake, set it against a magenta background, top it with real blueberries with a berry or two falling off the cake, drizzle it with viscous blueberry puree so that the creamy, white, cake looks like it's drooling blueberries... and not eat the cake. Instead, you get your trusty camera, fiddle with it while ignoring. Ignoring the cake. Then you take a photograph of your cake because, perhaps, you'd rather have the photograph than the real thing.

THAT takes skill... and a little bit of crazy.

One of the more well-known experiments in psychology was the Marshmallow Test where children were brought, one by one, into a room where a marshmallow sat on a plate on a table. A pretty, yummy, marshmallow. The children were told, "You may eat the marshmallow. However, you have a choice to not eat this marshmallow and wait a bit. If you can wait, oh say, 5 minutes, someone will come in and give you another one. So then, you can have two marshmallows. Two." Then they were left alone to make that all important decision: to eat (now) or not to eat.

Well, turns out, some kids gobbled up the marshmallow immediately. The promise of a second marshmallow was not enough to override the hunger to have the first marshmallow, NOW!

I'm convinced that food stylists and photographers would have passed the marshmallow test as children. I wouldn't have. I would have gobbled up that marshmallow even before the experimenter finished her spiel. I would have set a new record for failing the marshmallow test. It would have shamed my parents.

That's why I don't take too many pictures of the foods I cook. I don't have the patience for it. Usually, my plate's half empty by the time I remember to take a picture. And it seems vainglorious to insert a photo of me or my family AFTER having eaten, looking sated and almost Zen. (Seriously, have you ever encountered or yourself used the word "vainglorious" in a blog post? Uh-may-zing. Sometimes, I surprise myself).

You can't take a pic of your cake and eat it too. At least, not at the same time.

BOCHOGNOMICS: Pasta, Pasta, y Quesadilla

To kick off the new year, and per Ate My’s suggestion, I am changing the way I present recipes to include pricing. I am calling my new recipe series Bochognomics. This, of course, is in tribute to Kitchenomics, Del Monte’s popular marketing campaign. It’s very 90s but I am, after all, a 90s kid.

For this first installment of Bochognomics, I present two pasta and a quesadilla recipes. Pricing, by the way, is based mostly on Unimart prices. (More on the glory of Unimart in a subsequent post).


Sardine Pasta

This is a recipe for the Linguine with Sardines that I cooked for the Faculty Christmas Party of UP Psych where I now teach. The professors and instructors loved it and polished off all 1.5 kilos of it. Ma’am Ly, a colleague, asked if I took orders. To which I replied, “If I took orders, I’d never finish my dissertation.” By the way, if the recipe seems familiar, that’s because it’s quite similar to past sardine pasta recipes I’ve created.

Ingredients: (Pricing)
1.5 kg linguine (Php 44.75 / 500g Balducci brand)
7 cans fried sardines (Php 15.95 / can)
6-7 native tomatoes, chopped (Php 47.00 approx.)
1 bottle capers, drained (Php 84.75 Doña Elena brand)
2 160g cans tomato paste (Php 16.50 / 160g Jolly brand)
2 tbsp minced garlic (from pantry)
1 tbsp minced onions (from pantry)
olive oil, for sautéing (from pantry, Capri and Doña Elena are cheap but good brands in the Php 100++ range / 500 ml for pure and extra virgin)
Italian seasoning, s&p (from pantry, Php 38.25 / 13g bottle McCormick brand)
Fresh basil, all torn up (from pantry, Php 37.75 / 100g approx)
Grated parmesan (optional) (Php 94.50 / 200g Kraft brand)

Procedure:
1 Saute onions and garlic.
2 Add tomatoes. Season with salt and pepper. Saute for a few minutes.
3 Add fried sardines. (Debone sardines and remove laurel leaves prior to adding them). Stir for a few minutes.
4 Add tomato paste. Add water to thin the sauce if it gets too thick.
5 Add fresh basil, Italian seasoning, and capers. Season with s&p, to taste.
6 Let simmer.
7 Add cooked linguine (or any other pasta). Toss.
8 Serve and enjoy.


Pasta with Meat Sauce

I cooked this last night for New Year’s Eve dinner. I used the same meat sauce for the quesadilla I also made, the recipe for which will be detailed after this one.

Ingredients: (Pricing)
1.5 kg pasta (Php 44.75 / 500g Balducci brand)
½ kg ground lean beef (Php 120 / 500g, Nepa Q-mart)
¼ kg ground lean pork (Php 40 / 250g, Nepa Q-mart)
1 kg spaghetti sauce (Php 64.75 Clara Ole brand)
4 native tomatoes, chopped (Php 47 / 6-7 pcs, approx)
3 peppers, chopped (Php 27, approx)
1 can mushrooms (Php 23.75 / 400g can Tai Hing brand)
grated cheese (Php 94.50 / 200g parmesan Kraft brand, or Php 130++ / 500g processed cheese Che Vital brand, approx)
4 tbsp minced garlic (from pantry)
2 tbsp minced onion (from pantry)
2 tbsp fresh basil, torn up (from pantry, Php 37.75 / 100g approx)
2 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped (from pantry (Php 23.75 / 100g, approx)
Italian seasoning, s&p (from pantry, Php 38.25 / 13g bottle McCormick brand)

Procedure:
1 Saute 2 tbsp garlic and onions. Add meats. Cook until juices from the meat have evaporated and the meat has turned brown. Set aside cooked meat.
2 Saute the rest of the garlic. Add the tomatoes. Season with salt and pepper.
3 Add the mushrooms and peppers. Saute for a few minutes.
4 Add the meat. Saute for a few minutes.
5 Add the spaghetti sauce, basil, parsley, and Italian seasoning. Stir and let simmer for a few minutes. Add s&p, to taste.
6 Add cooked pasta. Toss.
7 Top with grated cheese. Enjoy.


Quesadilla y Quesadilla

I made 2 kinds of quesadilla for last night’s dinner, a ham and cheese quesadilla and a meat quesadilla using the same meat sauce I used for the pasta.

Ingredients: (Pricing)
4 pcs large tortillas (Php 89.50 / 6 pcs Village Gourmet brand)
8-10 medium thick slices of ham (Php 564 / 700g Adelina brand, approx)
1 pack tomato cream sauce (Php 25 / 250g Del Monte brand)
4 tbsp meat sauce
grated cheese (from pantry, Php 130++ / 500g Che Vital brand, approx)
1 tbsp fresh basil, torn up (from pantry, Php 37.75 / 100g, approx)

Procedure:
To make the ham and cheese quesadilla:
1 Place one large tortilla on a big plate. Put 3 big dollops of tomato cream sauce and spread.
2 Arrange ham slices to cover the whole tortilla up to 1 inch from the edge.
3 Top with grated cheese.
4 Take another tortilla and smear with tomato cream sauce.
5 Cover the tortilla with toppings to make a tortilla sandwich.
6 Heat in turbo broiler for 10 minutes at 200 C.
7 Cut into 6-8 pieces.
8 Serve and enjoy.

To make the meat quesadilla:
1 Place one large tortilla on a big plate. Put 3 big dollops of meat sauce and spread all over the tortilla.
2 Top with basil and grated cheese.
3 Take another tortilla and smear with tomato cream sauce.
4 Cover the tortilla with toppings to make a tortilla sandwich.
5 Heat in turbo broiler for 10 minutes at 200 C.
6 Cut into 6-8 pieces.
7 Serve and enjoy.

The Mission: Raise Your Blood Pressure...

The Means: My Aligue (Crab Fat) Pasta

The Materials:

1 huge crab, boiled, use both fat and meat
1/2 shrimp or any seafood boullion cube
1 cup hot water
250 ml all purpose cream
4-5 medium-sized tomatoes, diced
1-2 large red or green bell pepper/s, diced
2 tbsp chopped garlic
1 tbsp chopped onion
canola and/or sesame oil for sauteing
salt and pepper to taste
400 g spaghetti or any long pasta
grated parmesan cheese, optional

The Method:

1 Boil the crab. Harvest the fat and meat from the crab. Separate the meat from the fat.
2 In a separate bowl, dissolve the crab fat and boullion cube in hot water. Season with pepper (and salt, if necessary).
3 Saute garlic and onions. Add tomatoes. Season immediately with salt and pepper.
4 Add peppers, then crab meat. Stir for a few minutes.
5 Add crab fat mixture. Simmer.
6 Add cream. Simmer.
7 Taste. Season with salt and pepper, if necessary.
8 Add cooked spaghetti. Toss.
9 Serve as is or topped with grated parmesan cheese.
10 Enjoy.

Mission accomplished when...

11 Feel the back of your neck start to throb.
12a Take hypertension meds.
12b Or, go to nearest hospital.
12c Or, die smiling.

What really went on during that 1 million peso dinner...

Today's newspaper carried the headline "GMA Dined for P1M in NY". This news story, of course, shocked and angered so many people who perhaps still expect an iota of self restraint, respect for others' grief, and observance of propriety from a woman who has shown time and again that she is perhaps genetically incapable of any of these so-called "human" emotions. So what if President Aquino had just died and left not only her family but the whole nation saddened and grieving? So what if 40 percent of Filipinos have at one point in their lives experienced hunger? These are but trifling matters. Besides, it's not as if it was just a casual dinner where nothing of great import was discussed. No, I have it on good authority that GMA and cohorts were celebrating the inauguration of a new political party of which GMA is, naturally, the chimerical head. Below is a transcript of her inaugural address:


Good evening, men, women, harlots all.

Tonight, as I was being driven here in my sleek black stretch limousine, the sight of rows and rows of matchstick houses, squatter slums, assaulted my eyes. Dirty, hungry looking street urchins loitering, littering the street like trash, only aggravated the situation. For a while I thought I would be seized by a pure wave of pity and compassion for our kababayan and their karukhaan. For a while I was terrified that my conscience would rise up from the murky depths of my unconscious to bug the hell out of me... Then I remembered, I had it securely tethered to a 10-billion tonne weight which was sure to keep it down in the abyss of my mind, the black depths of which approximates that of the Mindanao Trench... Whew! That was close, I thought to myself. For a while there... I shuddered then heaved a huge sigh of relief as I settled back against my plush leather seat to contemplate the historic nature of this night.

Tonight is, indeed, a historic night. Tonight we celebrate the beginning of what I have no doubt will be the most profitable political party in Philippine political history. I welcome you, harlots, as members of KKK, which for our purposes, stands for Kakapalan ng mukha, Kawalan ng hiya, Katiwasayan ng bulsa. Specifically, ating bulsa.

Our mission is simple: to do whatever is necessary--without regard for honor, trust, integrity, respect, and all things valiant...and abstract--to remain in power and add to our, let's face it, already unimaginable wealth. Modesty is not a value. Moderation is taboo.

Ang ating misyon: ipakita sa taongbayan na wala silang maaasahan sa atin, kahit singkong duling, ika nga ng mga matatanda.

Wala nang pagpapanggap.

Wala nang magpapanggap na may batas na sinusunod. Pretty soon, we shall effect such a transformation as to render our old laws moot and create new ones that more accurately reflect the lawlessness of our actions. We shall render rules and regulations--even those that govern the conferring of honorific awards--optional. Sufficient but not necessary. So what if the likes of Lumbera, Bencab, Luz, and Almario raise a ruckus about it? Let those old fogeys have a coronary. Or three.

Wala nang pagpapanggap na may pagtingin tayo sa mahihirap. In this regard, this dinner should serve to put across this particular point. A necessary conclusion from two premises:

Premise 1: Forty percent of the Philippine population has suffered hunger at least once during the past year.
Premise 2: The current but pseudo Philippine president and her cohorts spent a million pesos on dinner in New York.
Conclusion: The pseudo president and her cohorts simply do not care. Are simply not bothered by the gaping incongruity that exists between the truth of Premise 1 and that of Premise 2.

Wala nang pagpapanggap na marunong tayong makiramay. Again, this dinner should serve to drive home this point. Another necessary conclusion from two premises:

Premise 3: The Philippines has just lost a much admired, even beloved, leader, one who lived and breathed simplicity, non-frivolity, and integrity.
Premise 4: The current but pseudo Philippine president and her cohorts spent a million pesos wining, dining, and generally making merry in New York while every Filipino (and even many non-Filipinos) elsewhere were grieving.
Conclusion: The pseudo president and her cohorts simply do not care. Are simply not bothered by the gaping incongruity that exists between the truth of Premise 3 and that of Premise 4.

(Thunderous applause almost shakes the foundations of Le Cirque)

(Chortles) I do try... (To waiter) I'll have that tenth bottle of Chardonnay, please...

I hope it is clear to everyone that I will not countenance any sort of good behavior, "good" defined as noble, heroic, selfless... I shudder to even say this word. I suggest you all exercise the same vigilance in staying away from all that is good and true and keeping close to our vision of an unjust, inhumane, society as a necessary consequence of the selfishness of our ambition.

I thank... no one... not even their God.

(Cheers and thunderous applause once more)

Finding the time for another pasta recipe

I'm finding myself overtaken by the new, and at times unsettling, experience of teaching. Yes, I have now joined the other side of the educational divide. I am now a guro, a titser (eep yu wil), at least for the year covering my appointment period. While I am enjoying certain aspects of it, as in the actual interaction with my students, I am still getting used to the administrative work that goes with it, the utter tediousness of preparation for classes, and the paradigm shift I have had to suffer through. I am, alas, not just a student anymore. Where before I used to sit in class, say something only when I wanted to and space out whenever I felt like it, I now have to stand in front of class, say the same things at least twice over, and try not to space out on my students. I am, too, not a freelancer anymore. I still have other projects but, for the better part of this year and next, I am fully employed by the university that made the sorry mistake of appointing me Assistant Professor 1, with 12 units teaching load, teaching 2 classes of General Psychology and 1 Experimental Psychology class. Did I say I have had to suffer through a paradigm shift? Make that still suffering.

It's not so bad, though. Frankly, half the time, I just like to create issues out of thin air. This, after all, is one of my favorite things to do. As irritating as being made to represent my department to college meetings can be, at least I have another new experience tucked under my belt and as busy and hectic as my schedule has gotten, at least I can still sneak in another pasta recipe, such as the one below. Suckiest segue, don't you think? Hopefully, the pasta is better than this post. Read--and cook--on...


Sausage-Shitake Pasta in Tomato Cream Sauce

Ingredients:
400 g cooked fusili (pasta twists)
1/2 to 1 large piece hungarian sausage, cut into not-too-thin but not thick slices
5-6 medium sized pieces shitake mushrooms
1 tbsp chopped garlic
2 medium tomatoes, chopped
1 small can (around 100 g) tomato paste
1 250 ml pack all purpose cream
2 tbsp oil, for frying
salt, pepper, italian seasoning, basil, and paprika to taste
optional: cheese to top

Procedure:
1 Fry hungarian sausage slices.
2 Slide sausage slices to one side of the pan. Add garlic. Saute.
3 Add tomatoes. Season immediately with salt.
4 Add mushrooms. Saute everything for a few minutes.
5 Season with italian seasoning and basil, to taste.
6 Add tomato paste. Thin with water if the mixture becomes too thick.
7 Add cream. Decrease fire. Season with salt, pepper, paprika, to taste. Simmer.
8 When the sauce starts to boil, add cooked pasta. Toss.
9 Optional, top with cheese.
10 Serve and enjoy.

Pasta Recipe for Dean

This recipe is dedicated (like a song!) to my friend, Dean, who now lives in the UK with her life partner and who is now starting a love thing with cooking... and eating what she cooks. It's a simple recipe that can be eaten as is or serve as a base for heartier pasta dishes.

ROASTED VEGGIE FUSILI

INGREDIENTS
500 grams fusili (pasta twists; can also use penne)
5-7 pcs medium-sized tomatoes, cut into med-sized chunks
3-4 pcs red and green bell peppers, cut into med-sized chunks
5-7 cloves of garlic, whole
fresh whole basil leaves
1 small can tomato paste
olive oil
salt and pepper, to taste
italian seasoning, to taste

PROCEDURE
1 Place tomatoes, peppers, and garlic cloves in a baking pan. Drizzle with olive oil until each piece is coated. Add salt and pepper. Toss. Roast in pre-heated oven, at 200 degrees C, for 30-40 minutes or until veggies are soft.
2 After roasting, mash the softened garlic and add tomato paste, italian seasoning, and fresh basil leaves to the vegetable mixture. Season again with salt and pepper, if necessary.
3 Add cooked pasta.
4 Can be enjoyed as is. Or, you can add fried meats such as bacon, ham, or hungarian sausage. You can also use canned tuna.
5 Top with parmesan or italian blend cheese.
6 Serve with garlic toast. Enjoy.

Coerced Creativity

Last week, I had another attack of nasty kabag that left me feeling blue, worried about it (which exacerbated it, I'm sure) and, frankly, unsexy. As I told my friend, Lin, via text, kabag is bad. It takes away the sexy.

The silver lining to this grayest of clouds, however, is that I was coerced by circumstances, "forced to good" ika nga, to come up with relatively healthier but still tasty bogchi to put in my lovely, flabby, tummy.

Here are the results, featuring the very "meaty" shitake mushroom and 5-spice powder:

For breakfast, SHITAKE SALMON...

INGREDIENTS
1 small can Salmon in Natural Oil (the salt in this dish comes from the canned salmon)
1-2 shitake mushrooms, chopped
1 tsp atsuete oil (annato seeds soaked in canola oil)
1-2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 small shallot, chopped
1 stalk, green onion, chopped
1 green chili, chopped
kasuba, to taste
5-spice powder, to taste
sesame seeds, to taste (optional: toasted)

PROCEDURE
1 Saute garlic, onions, and chili in atsuete oil. Add the mushrooms.
2 Add 5-spice powder to the mix and saute for a few seconds.
3 Add salmon.
4 Sprinkle kasuba and sesame seeds.
5 Serve with brown rice or multi-grain toast.


For lunch or dinner, SHITAKE PASTA...

INGREDIENTS
100 grams flat pasta, cooked and drained
2-3 shitake mushrooms, sliced
1-2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 small shallot, chopped
2 stalks green onion, chopped
fresh basil leaves
fresh curly leaf parsley
5-spice powder, to taste
spanish paprika, to taste
1/2 cup soy sauce (optional: use patis or plain salt)
1 tsp cornstarch, dissolved in water
1-2 tbsp atsuete oil

PROCEDURE
1 Saute garlic and onions in oil. Add the mushrooms.
2 Add the 5-spice powder, paprika, and soy sauce.
3 Thicken with cornstarch.
4 Add cooked pasta and some pasta water (if sauce is too thick).
5 Add fresh basil, parsley, and green onions.
6 Toss until leaves are wilted.
7 Serve with multi-grain toast.


For a quick dessert, FAUX APPLE PIE...

INGREDIENTS
1 medium apple, sliced into thin wedges
1 cup granola
1 tsp cinnamon powder
1 tsp 5-spice powder
1 pat unsalted butter
1 tbsp honey

PROCEDURE
1 Mix granola, spices, butter, and honey.
2 Arrange apple wedges in a shallow bowl. Top with the granola crumble.
3 Blitz in microwave for 4-5 minutes.
4 Enjoy.

I have an announcement to make...

I've decided to shed enough pounds to be what others may consider thin and sexy. I struggled with this decision because I have spent my life refusing to judge my appearance, and by intimate extension, myself, by other people's standards. It hurts to have to pretty much take back everything I've ever written about in this blog, everything I ever said to anyone about accepting oneself and not attaching one's sense of worth and beauty to the container one is housed in. But, damn it, there must be some truth to what people have been telling me all my life: that I would, in fact, be prettier if I lost a bit or a lot of weight. I consider myself a fairly curious person, so in the interest of satisfying curiosities, at least, I've decided to really try to be thinner... and prettier. (I'm tired of being passably pretty and very smart!). I don't want to just exercise or make changes in my diet for health's sake. That seems to me now like such a cop out. Health Schmealth, right?

Starting tomorrow, April 2, I will be going on a pretty strict diet. Think only one cup of brown rice a day for carbs. I'm also joining a gym instead of just doing Hip Hop Abs at home or walking up and down several flights of stairs.

I hope that my family, friends, and any random stranger who happens upon this blog will understand this massive Kuhnian type paradigmatic shift of my mind and heart. From now on, this blog will be about food still--but only healthy food and healthy eating. Which means no more pasta recipes. I hope I can still find much meaning in eating salad greens and veggiemeat and be able to write about connections between protein and, say, peace and justice.

Here's to a new (read: thinner, prettier!) me and (fingers crossed) an even better blog about healthy bogchi. I can't wait!

By the way, what day is it today?

Presenting… BOCHOG’S ALL CARB DIET

Inspired by those LOSE/GAIN WEIGHT? sticker ads usually found on restroom doors and outdoor posts, Bochog’s All Carb Diet is designed to achieve the 2nd option that these sticker ads present: GAIN WEIGHT. Emboldened by the recognition that weight can be a matter of choice—that one can choose and wish to gain weight as much as another can choose to lose—the creator of this diet decided to crystallize the gastronomic principles she has lived by for 3 decades into an easy-to-follow diet that doesn’t skimp on taste. Bochog’s All Carb Diet is the first diet of its kind, a diet that can target weight gain as a goal but one that does not demand it. Bochog believes that there doesn’t have to be guilt or remorse should one follow the diet and still maintain one’s weight. After all, Bochog lives by the saying (which she made up herself)…

“There are no judgments here.”

Unlike other diets that advocate the reduction, even elimination, of carbohydrate intake, this diet advocates maximum intake of carbohydrates. The All Carb Diet, however, does not discriminate against other food groups, for instance, proteins such as meat, meat, and all meat. Instead, it advocates a balanced diet which consists of carbohydrates, some protein to make the carbs extra special to the palate and to ensure the continued employment of butchers and others who work in the meat procurement and processing sector, a few servings of veggies for those who have to contend with guilt (although, again, there are no judgments here), and the requisite chocolate caramel bar drink. Fruits may be substituted for some of the processed sweets. Beware, though. Studies have shown that those who eat more than one piece of fruit a day have a higher risk of having regular bowel movement and are, therefore, likelier to feel nature’s call at the most inopportune moments, like during a business meeting or right in the middle of an intimate moment with one’s partner or, like, whenever. (Sucks, right?).

The diet consists of a 3-day breakfast, lunch, merienda (afternoon snacks), and dinner menu. Meals are interchangeable. This allows the dieter latitude and freedom in creating his/her own diet plan while staying within the admittedly permeable boundaries set by the All Carb Diet. Dieters can create one-day menus using different combinations such as, for instance, Day 1 Breakfast, Day 2 Lunch and Merienda, and Day 3 Dinner.

This diet is contraindicated for those who want to lose weight as well as those in whom the very word carbohydrate triggers severe allergic reactions that may lead to anaphylactic shock. This diet is also recommended for those whose tongues are planted firmly in cheek.


DAY 1

Breakfast

1 cup, or 3, white rice (steamed or fried in STAR margarine with ham, bacon, and chorizo bits, and green peas and carrots for 1/16 serving of veggies)
1 multi-grain bagel (plain or slathered with a butter and cream cheese pimiento)
1 glazed donut (or 2…amounts are entirely optional)
1 glass Bochog Shake (to make: combine 1 banana cut up into pieces, half an apple, juice of 1 orange, ½ cup milk, 1 tbsp honey, and 1 Snickers bar, in a blender. Blend until smooth. For added joy, again entirely optional, top with cut up pieces of Twix bar, peanut butter flavor)

Lunch

1 small (or big) plate of pasta with simple marinara sauce (or aligue sauce)
1 slice (or loaf) of whole wheat bread (plain or slathered with garlic herb butter. For a Southeast Asian take, substitute butter with ghee… and coconut milk)
1 simple salad, made of store bought mixed greens and your favorite dressing, on a bed of croutons, topped with grated cheese and bacon bits
1 glass diet root beer (with 2 scoops vanilla ice cream… there will be no judgments should you deem it necessary to add a 3rd scoop.)

Merienda

3 layers of sapin-sapin
1 platter palabok
3-4 pieces puto (with 1 bowl dinuguan)
1 tall glass sago gulaman (with extra arnibal)

Dinner

1 bowl asado mami
1 piece bola-bola siopao (with extra pao… or extra asado siopao)
1 cup white rice (can be substituted with 1 plate paella)
for dessert: 1 llanera leche flan (topped with slivers of sweet macapuno and a generous serving of caramel)


DAY 2

Breakfast

1 sausage platter (A sausage platter is just a large plate filled with at least 3 different kinds of sausages: ex. Chorizo de Bilbao, Hungarian, Italian, Bratwurst, Vigan Longganisa, Lucban Longganisa)
3-4 large pan de sal (with kesong puti)
1 cup brewed coffee (with lots of cream and sugar. Lots.)

Lunch

1 10-inch all meat pizza
1 big bowl Caesar salad
1 plate Carbonara (2nd plate optional)
1 liter diet soda (1.5 liter if 1 liter bottle is not available)

Dinner

½ to 1 slab bbq pork or beef ribs (according to preference)
1 pot chili
2-3 servings creamy mashed potatoes (to make: boil 10 potatoes, add 2 cups heavy cream, 2 sticks butter, salt and pepper to taste. Ham, bacon, or sausage bits are optional.)
for dessert: bread pudding (with caramel sauce)


DAY 3

Breakfast

3 large pancakes (topped with a blueberry or raspberry compote, whipped cream, and lots of maple syrup)
3-4 slices French toast (soaked in more maple syrup)
1-2 servings hash browns
3-10 pieces bacon
1 fruit platter (any fruit, fresh or candied, will do)
1-4 cups hot chocolate e

Lunch

1-2 plates Pinoy style spaghetti (for a recipe, ask your mom)
2-3 pieces fried chicken
1-2 slices toast (plain or buttered and topped with grated cheese)
1.5 liter bottle diet soda (regular soda if diet soda not available)

Merienda

10 pieces fish balls
10 pieces squid balls
10 pieces chicken balls
3-5 sticks isaw baboy
3-5 sticks isaw manok
3-5 sticks betamaks
2 liter bottle Sprite or 7 Up

Dinner

1 platter white sauce pasta (alfredo or carbonara)
2-3 servings beef stroganoff (with rice, or pasta again)
1 rack of lamb
1-2 servings assorted roasted veggies (like potatoes, carrots, eggplant, peppers)
for dessert: cake sampler (sample slices of the ff. cakes: tiramisu, caramel cake, sans rival, moist chocolate cake, cheesecake, chocolate mousse, carrot cake, etc.)

Shrimp Pasta for 2 People I Like

Day and I cooked shrimp pasta for her 25th birthday this past monday, Dec. 8. Below is the recipe, which I'm also dedicating (like a song!) to my friend with the alliterative name, Leah Lupisan Laxamana, whose birthday is Dec. 9 (yesterday here in Manila, today in California). Sorry, I can't cook it for you, Ley. Tutal, self-reliance is the way to go, so cook it yourself! :)

Shrimp Pasta

Ingredients:

750 g spaghetti
500 g tomato sauce
1 250 ml pack all-purpose cream
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tbsp minced garlic
2 tbsp minced onion/shallots
2 pcs green chili, deseeded and chopped
5 medium tomatoes, chopped
400-500 g shrimps, peeled
salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, chili flakes, basil, and italian seasoning blend, all to taste
grated cheese

Procedure:

1. Saute onions then garlic in olive oil. Then add green chili.
2. After a couple of minutes, add the tomatoes. Season immediately with salt and pepper, then other spices.
3. Add shrimps (half-cooked).
4. When shrimps are pink, add tomato sauce.
5. When sauce is bubbling, add cream.
6. Check for taste. Add seasonings as needed.
7. Add cooked pasta to the sauce. Toss.
8. Place in baking dish. Add layer of grated Cheese.
9. (Optional) Bake until cheese melts.
10. Serve with buttered toast or garlic bread.
11. Enjoy.

BIKES, BEEF SOUP, AND THE BALINGKINITAN RATIO: Ho Chi Minh and the Concept of Scale

The Vietnamese idea of scale and proportion is small. It’s not a bad kind of small. It may be similar to our idea of “tingi” and the sari-sari store, which is all about just enough, nothing in excess. I stayed for 3 days in Ho Chi Minh 2 months ago and the main thing I brought home from that trip, aside from the coffee and coconut candies, is the realization that big is not a natural imperative. In Vietnam, balingkinitan seems to be the norm. In that place, where the buildings weren’t too tall, the streets were just wide enough to accommodate more bicycles than cars, and the people were no bigger than I was… in 2nd grade… there seemed to be no need to go large scale.

The people, the streets, the buildings all share one thing—they take up the least amount of space possible. Balingkinitan. Little and willowy. There really is no other word to describe them. The main highways are half the size of EDSA. The streets of Ho Chi Minh feature clusters of narrow buildings that look like concrete reeds of varying height but never reaching the kind of heights that buildings here do. And they don’t have malls and shopping complexes a la Megamall or Trinoma. Think Star Mall. Much of our shopping was done in the stores along the side streets of the city, which sold different goodies at half the price the same products were being sold for in Ben Thanh market, the central market that was supposedly the place to go for good buys. Supposedly. My friend, Claire, bought a pair of shades at Ben Thanh for the equivalent of 300 pesos. Naturally, we would later spot a side street store selling shades for as low as the equivalent of 100 pesos. I reckon it sucked to be her, at that point.

The people in Vietnam are all smaller than me. I never saw one Vietnamese larger or even at least as large. There was this one Vietnamese salesgirl who was probably already their idea of “fat”, and she looked like she was the same size I was in fifth grade. The strange thing is, though, when it came to food, they served pretty big portions. Claire and I had dinner in this eatery that serves only beef soup. We each ordered one. The owner put a huge bowl in front of me filled with soup, vermicelli, and about twenty thin slices of beef, with a plate of assorted vegetables on the side. I couldn’t finish all of it. You’d think I’d be able to finish a big bowl of beef soup. But, I guess, where Vietnamese beef vermicelli soup is concerned I’m a figurative lightweight.



I wonder where they put all that beef. Or the pork. They’re fond of pork too. We had lunch at a place that served shredded pork as a side dish to… pork. So, I actually had a pork-on-pork meal. I know where all the food I eat goes. I actually look like I like to eat. They look like freaky health fanatics who consume only 10 calories a day. Times like these I find myself asking fundamental life questions, like, “What the hell?”

But I couldn’t bring myself to resent the Vietnamese. They seemed so sweet and innocent, never mind the Viet Cong and their wily ways that led to the defeat of the US Army. Which brings me to another point, you know those underground tunnels that the Viet Cong built to aid them in their guerilla warfare against the American imperialists? I like that word. Imperialist. Reminds me of Mark Twain and his anti-imperialist essays. And of that French guy in the Highlander series who said, “Imperialist! I spit on the ground you walk on.” Who in turn reminds me of John Cleese’s French Guard character in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the one who kept mocking King Arthur and said, “I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

I love the French, especially when they’re all… stereotypical… But I digress…

As I was saying, those underground tunnels were really tiny too. And narrow. Bawal ang malaki, to rephrase that Clusivol commercial. You won’t fit inside the hole if you’re as big as G.I. Joe. In fact, the tour guide said that the Viet Congs’ small frame helped them evade the American soldiers, some of whom would actually try and stick their massive bodies into these small holes, to no avail, obviously. (This reminds me of the late American comedian, Chris Farley, who got laughs stuffing his huge body into David Spade’s coat, and singing, “Fat guy in a little coat…”).



Roads and streets in Ho Chi Minh are all relatively narrower. Certainly, they don’t have a main thoroughfare like EDSA. Not that they really need one. People don’t drive much in Vietnam. They ride motorbikes instead. To get an idea of how many bikes traverse the streets at any one time, imagine the number of cars along EDSA vis a vis the number of motorcycles. Then, imagine the reverse. That’s how it’s like in Ho Chi Minh’s roads. It can be crazy-making trying to dodge all those bikes zipping past you. It’s like a thousand mechanical lemmings coming at you. One of them makes eye contact just before that moment when you’re sure you’re about to get hit by a bike in Vietnam. And then, in a split second, the biker tilts her hips to the left, or to the right, slanting away from you with only a tiny increment of space between you and her. It’s all quite cozy and intimate, these brushes with death. What do the French call it? Le petit morte? The little death. Of course, they were talking about something else altogether, but that same phrase applies here. It’s very suave the way the Vietnamese avoid collisions. They wouldn’t be able to do that, avoid hitting someone with only an inch of space in between, if they were big-boned, muscle-toned, fat-framed types.

In Vietnam, being balingkinitan makes a lot of sense. It helps you evade the enemy and eventually defeat them. It also helps you cheat death several times on the way to work.

The Meaning Of Mechado

Wednesday. 29th of October. One minute after One. PM. I am in the middle of finishing a lunch that consists of pork mechado and brown rice. The pork mechado is left over from yesterday's dinner. Our kasambahay, Daya, has left for her annual vacation to her hometown in Bacolod and she cooked enough mechado and adobo to last us several days.

So sometime before One, I decided... make that MY MIND... my mind decided to heat it up and eat it for lunch. Not a mind-boggling, spectacular decision. Except my mind is making up this whole big deal about what I know to be just a regular meal. I'm not explaining it well. It's...

My mind's racing. It's been racing for close to 20 minutes now. You know that feeling, that you're on the verge of an important discovery, or you're about to have some kind of life changing epiphany? That feeling of anticipation, on the verge of a Eureka moment... and yet, you know, you know, there's no meaning to be had, to be found, to be created... in mechado!

There are no epiphanies in brown rice! Heating up a meal made of left overs is NOT up there with undertaking your life's most important research study! It won't get you the ultimate brilliant idea for a script that will win the country's first Oscar for Best Original Screenplay!

Your body moves in the same slow, lethargic manner you usually have, but your mind--at least the part that does not contain, imprison, YOU--says and feels otherwise. You're all jumpy and nervous and excited inside a sluggishly moving body. You're waiting for that Zen moment--which you know will never happen because moments of Zen don't come to those who expect.

Expectation is the antithesis of Zen.

You know this, yet your mind is telling your body to behave otherwise, to act like you're on the verge of a profound realization. But your body just can't get with your mind's current programme.

You feel incongruent. Discordant. Unreal.

You just have to wait this out, this excruciating moment of feeling like something's going to happen while knowing, being entirely convinced, that something never will.

Mechado sucks.

Nakainom Ako Ng Melamine!!!

Thanks to last night's news, I found out that we've been consuming milk laced with melamine these past few months. See, we switched over from Milk Magic low fat milk to Jolly Cow Slender low fat milk because the latter was, ahem, cheaper. And since we mistakenly assumed that it is always a wise decision to go cheaper if you can, especially during these times, we started buying Jolly Cow low fat milk. It didn't taste any different and, prior to last night's announcement, we've consumed probably around 4 cartons of it over a period of several months. We used it mostly for oatmeal, of which mama ate the most. When news about melamine in milk went around, we stopped drinking it just to be on the safe side, but when BFAD announced that Jolly Cow regular milk was found negative of melamine, I guess we figured it's probably the same results for the low fat kind since these were the same brand, from the same company, anyway.

Lo and behold (is it a mark of melanine poisoning to be using old fashioned, hokey phrases such as "lo and behold"?), we tuned in to last night's news only to find a health official holding up a carton of the same brand of milk we'd been consuming, yes, Jolly Cow Slender, at a press conference, announcing that said brand has been found to contain melamine.

I think my jaw dropped a hundred storeys.

A quick internet search reveals the following effects of melamine poisoning (sourced from WHO): irritability, blood in urine, little or no urine, signs of kidney infection, and high blood pressure. I think I'm safe from every one of those save the first. I get easily irritated but I think that's more of a personality quirk than an effect of a chemical in my bloodstream.

In any case, it seems pointless to agonize, as my sister says, about what are really small amounts of milk we ingested in the past. And as yet, we experience nothing of the supposed effects of melamine poisoning. Maybe the chemical has been washed out of our system already. But I'm not taking any chances. No milk for me anytime soon.

Thank God for non-dairy creamer.

Wait, non-dairy creamer doesn't have milk in it. Ergo, it can't possibly have melamine, right?

Is paranoia an effect of melamine poisoning?

"Methinks it is, lassie!" says the voice in my head.

ARGGHHH!!!

On Food, Violence, and Power

A quick google using the key words “vegetarian dictator” reveals links to the sorely contested idea that Adolf Hitler, mass murderer and all around asshole, was a vegetarian. Some historians have argued that Der Fuhrer did not eat meat, that the man who got it into his head to attempt to exterminate a whole race in a sincerely, insanely, misguided effort at purification, only nibbled on plants and cared not for carnivorous pleasures such as steak, foie gras, ham, bologna, salami, sausages, fried chicken, roast turkey, grilled fish, and other cooked permutations of formerly living, breathing, walking, and swimming members of kingdom Animalia.

I can imagine how vegetarians, especially those who don’t eat meat for moral reasons, would be gagging about this. Since vegetarianism is often associated with a pacifistic philosophy and lifestyle that seeks to respect all forms of life even, say, bacteria, it of course won’t do for one’s moral code to be associated with a man who had zero respect for any life other than his.

I myself am skeptical of the idea that Hitler only consumed plants because… well… A vegetarian dictator? Somehow, it’s hard to imagine such a creature ever existing.

A dictator is one who superimposes his will onto that of the weak. He doesn’t ask for anything, he just takes it, grabs it, keeps it then spews it out whenever, wherever, at whomever he wants to. A dictator doesn’t wish, he wills. His is power that renders others’ moot. Equality and respect are anathema to him. Superiority and dominion are his raison d’etre.

It’s difficult to imagine that someone like this would have a diet that reflects a “live and let live” philosophy.

To my mind, dictators don’t just consume, they devour. They don’t just nibble, they take huge, jaw-breaking bites. They don’t pick their food; they spear it, stab it, and tear the flesh off it.

After all, at a most basic, primitive level, eating is an exercise in power. To eat is to reinforce the hierarchy to which all living organisms belong. Science calls it the food chain and humans are taught early on about our place, occupying the top position, in it. Science and pedagogy collude to instill in us the idea of our inherent superiority to all other species.

Hamlet’s soliloquy might as well have been, “To eat, or not to eat…and make a pet out of.”

The food chain represents the vast gastronomic options we as a species have before us. We exercise our power through the choices we make, the answers we come up with to the question of what to eat and not to eat.

The choice is made expedient by the act of naming and personifying. You cannot eat that which you have named. It is atavistic will, simple and without logic. All other unnamed species, all those you have not made pets out of… have at it.

Even after you have made the choice of what to eat, you come up against another question: how to procure the food. Procurement of food is almost always an act of violence. You hunt, you capture, you slaughter and let the blood flow, then you make a fire and burn it. It’s making sure whatever it is is truly dead. Some people can stand this knowledge more than others. These people don't mind actively involving themselves in this procurement process. We call them "hunters", "butchers", "cooks". The others we call consumers, passive receivers of food already deadened and prepared. Or more quaintly so, we call them "foodies".

After this, the question: how to eat it. The answer to this question often flows from answers to the previous questions. Say you, like most folks, have decided to eat lower animal forms. It is very likely that you are at least aware that your food is procured in a fairly violent fashion. At least, we hope none of us are so deluded as to think that the cows, pigs, chickens, and fish we eat have all died convenient, natural deaths. Because these animals have flesh, which is tough and often unpalatable in its raw state, you would have to subject your animal of choice to all manner of beating (which you would call “tenderizing”), destroying (which you would call “processing”) and burning (which you would call “cooking”).

Euphemisms abound where violence resides.

So, how to eat it? You can, like members of polite society, saw it with a knife and stick a fork in it. Or you can pretend less and just use your hands and your teeth to pull a chunk off it.

Or you can be a vegetarian.

You can choose to limit your eating to living things that can’t walk or run away from you, hopelessly unable to evade your capture, living things that are stuck to the earth and are virtual sitting ducks, ready for you to pick them. Then you can yank your food from the ground, by its stems, to reveal its naked roots, chop off its leaves and shred them. And you could call this shredding “to julienne”.

Euphemisms abound where violence resides.

So, how to eat your plants? You can poke at them with a fork and slice the larger pieces with a knife. Or again, you can pretend less—and be truer to your no less violent nature—and just use your hands to pick your little, refined slices of death and put them in your mouth.

To nibble.

On second thought… maybe it’s not so impossible that Hitler was a vegetarian.

Going (Gasp!) Vegetarian

Yeah, you heard me. VE.GE.TA.RI.AN...

Two nights ago, I decided not to have dinner because I had had a very late lunch. So, naturally, after deciding on no dinner, I promptly got hungry. Since I never could get behind tinolang manok, and our cupboard is due for another major trip to Shopwise, I had to make do with what little was left in our fridge. By "little" I mean "no more meat" which would have, ordinarily, sucked. But deprivation breeds resourcefulness and some good came out of this no meat situation, in the form of a new recipe for a spicy snack, herein so detailed...


Spicy Tomato Dip/Sauce/Palaman/Whatever on Whole Wheat Crackers:

Ingredients (for single serving):
1 medium sized tomato, diced
1 tsp olive oil
basil and italian herbs to taste
salt and pepper to taste
1-2 dash/es cayenne pepper or paprika (optional, for spice)
1 tsp light mayonnaise
1 tsp mustard
3-4 whole wheat crackers (the new Rebisco crackers are awesome!)

Procedure:
1. Mix all ingredients (save the mayo, mustard, and crackers) in a small bowl.
2. Blitz in microwave for 1-2 minutes, or until tomatoes are soft.
3. Stir in mayo and mustard.
4. Spread on to crackers.
5. Enjoy.



Yesterday, I walked all the way from the Ortigas office where I work part-time to the MRT station in Ortigas. Got off at Cubao and walked around, bought some stuff in, Gateway mall. Took the LRT. Got off at Katipunan then walked home. So I was walking a total of 1 and a half hours. To reward myself, I made some vegetarian tortillas for dinner. No meat is all right if you can have beans. Beans, baby. Beans...


Tomato and Refried Bean Dip/Sauce/Filling/Whatever on Tortillas:

Ingredients:
1 can fat free refried beans
3-4 medium sized tomatoes, diced
1 tbsp garlic, minced
1 tbsp onion, minced
herbs to taste
barbecue seasoning (with chilies) to taste
salt and pepper to taste
1-2 dash/es cayenne pepper or paprika (optional, for spice)
1/2 cup tomato ketchup
1/4 cup warm water
shredded cabbage
grated cheese (optional)
small tortillas

Procedure:
1. Saute garlic and onions.
2. Add tomatoes. Sprinkle salt and pepper.
3. Add herbs. Stir until tomatoes are soft.
4. Add refried beans and some water to thin it out a bit.
5. Add tomato ketchup and cayenne pepper. Simmer til thick.
6. Heat tortillas in a pan.
7. Spread generous amount of tomato-refried bean stuff.
8. Top with cabbage and/or cheese.
9. (Optional) Heat til cheese melts.
10. Enjoy.